So i know ive been a bit MIA lately buuutt its because ive been trying to focus myself on getting my things together. in the past few weeks a lot has happened. i went through an experience that in the end didn't only test me on my beliefs, and with that i mean about love, and what i feel is more important to me, i also realized whom i can rely on. its interesting to see how much words and actions change, in any situation in life, if we really pay attention to our words, we realize that we don't follow at all with actions, actually i should stop saying we and say I.
anyway, i found this amazing song depicting exactly how i felt right now. check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOJ4chbyuJ8&feature=related
lots of new things happening, i just need to wrap my head around it all.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
All good things come to an end.
wow, well its been a while since ive posted something.
to be honest ive been having a REALLY rough time the last couple of days. paris was so awesome, being around sincere, loving people was so refreshing. i miss my friends around the world a lot! i miss the honesty and the compassion, the closeness and the ability to tell each other anything without being afraid to be judged or put down...
i thought that time apart from pat, and being disconnected from him for a while would help me, but i feel like everyday is just harder and harder without him. ive been missing him SO much that ive started crying again. although i would LOVE to get back together with him, i know that that would be the worst decision, because it would break any chances of us working out in the future.
i know i need this time for myself, but im fighting it so much. im fighting being alone because im so damn scared. its a lot harder than i imagined, and a lot scarier. but its whats best. for both of us, and that hurts!
ANYWAY, on a really good note, i contacted the photography school in paris and their sending me everything i need to fill out. if all goes well ill be living there by december!! or even november. but WOW, im so excited. i cant WAIT to get out there, meet new people, be with one of my best friends blair! we're going to rip it up in paris. its going to be so good to be around her again. im so excited to actually learn about photography, and improve as much as i can. i love it, its such a passion its such a beautiful way to express. the pictures on the website are amazing too, if you want you can check it out. www.speos.fr
they have such interesting classes and techniques. ahhh im so excited and i feel like im going to make a lot of good friends because we all are going to love the same thing. we're already going to have so much in common...its going to be amazing.
so basically i just needed to vent. i needed to get it all out. and now i feel a bit better.
im going to make myself some peanut butter reese's, home made :) and ill make a few gift bags for my friends. i think we all need a bit of cheering up!
oh yeah, and i love my mum! she's always really good to talk to in times like this.
of to make my portfolio and some reese's!
to be honest ive been having a REALLY rough time the last couple of days. paris was so awesome, being around sincere, loving people was so refreshing. i miss my friends around the world a lot! i miss the honesty and the compassion, the closeness and the ability to tell each other anything without being afraid to be judged or put down...
i thought that time apart from pat, and being disconnected from him for a while would help me, but i feel like everyday is just harder and harder without him. ive been missing him SO much that ive started crying again. although i would LOVE to get back together with him, i know that that would be the worst decision, because it would break any chances of us working out in the future.
i know i need this time for myself, but im fighting it so much. im fighting being alone because im so damn scared. its a lot harder than i imagined, and a lot scarier. but its whats best. for both of us, and that hurts!
ANYWAY, on a really good note, i contacted the photography school in paris and their sending me everything i need to fill out. if all goes well ill be living there by december!! or even november. but WOW, im so excited. i cant WAIT to get out there, meet new people, be with one of my best friends blair! we're going to rip it up in paris. its going to be so good to be around her again. im so excited to actually learn about photography, and improve as much as i can. i love it, its such a passion its such a beautiful way to express. the pictures on the website are amazing too, if you want you can check it out. www.speos.fr
they have such interesting classes and techniques. ahhh im so excited and i feel like im going to make a lot of good friends because we all are going to love the same thing. we're already going to have so much in common...its going to be amazing.
so basically i just needed to vent. i needed to get it all out. and now i feel a bit better.
im going to make myself some peanut butter reese's, home made :) and ill make a few gift bags for my friends. i think we all need a bit of cheering up!
oh yeah, and i love my mum! she's always really good to talk to in times like this.
of to make my portfolio and some reese's!
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